NO MAS EN FUEGO! 3rd Anniversary of the House Fire

[divalea]

Today is the third anniversary of the fire that yanked my life back into shape. I would've never known that people could be so kind, care so much. The aftermath was nearly comical, like "Miracle on 34th Street"* had a head-on collision with "It's a Wonderful Life" and "Ferris Bueller's Day Off."

I have to share that sleeping through something painful is like getting drunk to get through something painful: eventually you wake up or sober up and the pain is still there. I took to my bed with the vapors. When I woke up, it was still fucking September 6th. Sleep only knits up so much ravel'd sleave of care.
Inescapable, so I got my alive and ingracious ass out of bed to write this thank-you.

The fire was the worst and best thing that ever happened. I lost everything. I still miss my dog Yuki, every time I see bubbles or rain. (But not when I pick up dog turds.) I knew what I wanted to do with my life. I knew what I didn't want to do with my life. I went to the doctor to be treated for PTSD and got a diagnosis of bi-polar disorder, which saved me, and taught me to be strong in the face of disapproval.

I built an IKEA kitchen in my Barbie Dream House and knew, for the first time in my life, that I was competent and accomplished. Not dizzy, dumb or helpless, like I'd believed before that. There's just something about not having hundreds of pounds of woods and glass fall off the wall to put a spring in a girl's step, make her maddenly, beautifully independent, and free her from years of being the embodiment of other's opinions and ill needs.

Needless to say, I recommend power tools to any woman or girl needing self-esteem. Yes, there's a joke in there.

So, to all my friends and angels and fellow fire survivors Carla and Lance Hoffman, Karen Ellis, and Len Wein and Christine Valada, much strength and love.

"Hey, another year it gets further away from the awesome now."  -Carla Hoffman

Comments

[angela-n-hunt.livejournal.com]

I am glad you are alive and things are getting better. One can't say happy anniversary about something like this. But I am happy that it's an anniversary of your survival and self-re-discovery.

[lois2037.livejournal.com]

It's a complicated day to commemorate, and sleeping through it may just be perfectly appropriate. In spite of everything, and because of everything, you have come out on top. Your strength gives us all a little strength.

[the-kiggy.livejournal.com]

You came out a stronger person.

No hay mal que por bien no venga.

[uplinktruck.livejournal.com]

I'm glad you landed on your feet.

[karen-ellis.livejournal.com]

Seconded on the IKEA thing. The only furniture I now own that didn't come from IKEA is my bed and a couple of chairs I saved after someone else had thrown them out.

I hadn't thought for a second about the anniversary of my fire. I have a terrible memory for dates, but since mine was February 15th, I doubt I'll forget that easily. But remembering it gives it such power. I think I'll have to plan ahead how I commemorate it, so I don't just get depressed and drink a lot of cheap wine.

I may bake a cake.

[omg-its-fiore.livejournal.com]

Dear Leah,

I'm so glad to have finally found you again, and as ever, you continue to be such a strong, wonderful, inspirational woman. This is Sarah Zaidan, who never forgot your guidance while working on the Bristol Board Jungle back in '03. I'm going to friend your LJ, and am so grateful that you're doing well, and still being the awesome kickass woman I admire so much.

With love and gratitude,
Sarah