ATF: One for the Road

I am up too damn late again, and I have to rise early to go with King for yet another trip to Lowe's.

Some bit and bobs:
We have used one of the plastic cards so much the fraud protection strip on the back has worn through.

I have looked at the fire pictures again for the first time in a long time. I have to remind myself that rooms that don't look so bad got a facelift from strong digital flash. The reality was dim, haunted, crunchy, smelly and sent me out crying every time I went in.

The past five months have been the best and worst in my whole life. I have seen the best in people, found out something I didn't know about myself and needed to know, and seen my kids grow up, literally, overnight.

I have faced down the worst and most heartless vultures. When you lose everything, you worry less about what anyone thinks they can take away. Any threat is always trumped by, "Why do you think that scares me? I had a minute to live and left my house with no panties on!"

King could not stand to get any sort of fixture that we had before.

I can work again. I understand now why I would go through long periods and want to do nothing but sleep and drawing seemed monstrously overwhelming. I found out why because I sought treatment for PTSD. I went for help because of the fire. Ironically (and there's shit tons of it to go around), the fire saved my mental health, and may have saved my life.

I read someone else's words about the fire and it jolts me every time. "Lost her art" "..pets..." "...burned down..." Those are words about a stranger that always turns out to be me.

I am surrounded by love every day. The computer I am typing on, the hard drive the flourecses like an anemone next to it, my tables, laptop bag, waffle maker, bed, EVERYTHING reminds me of someone I know. Maple syrup is Tom Stillwell. Soap is spiderfarmer. The bed is J. Michael Straczynski (won't he be surprised?) The polymer supplies are Jeannie Havel of Makin's Clay and Polymer Clay Central on Delphi. Shoes are kyburg. shaenon sent us money for many, many rainy days. The tin of truffles is arcana_j. If something is from Target, it could be Barbara Kesel or czarina69. Groceries? onionhead. When I use the internet, I will always think of uplinktruck who set me to doing something I'd never done before. (And which gave me serious "I know what I'm talking about" cred with the all-man construction crews.)
The Hero Initiative. Scott Kurtz. Gail Simone. Zeus Comics. Green Brain Comics. Jeffery. Walt and Weezie Simonson. Marv Wolfman. Richard Starkings. College students who sent tiny, precious amounts.

I could write for hours amd still not name everyone who helped. I am so so slowly going through the donations via PayPal and sending notes. If you're reading this and not heard from me, I'm getting there. I'm thinking of you.

If you went to my Profile, you'd see the names of people that helped. I'm glad you're here.

And now I must go to bed, otherwise I can't have the pleasure of begging for more sleep in about four hours.