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ATF: Dear Door-Stealing Fuckface
Dec. 4th, 2006 09:22 pmDear asshole who came into my backyard and stole the pair of French doors I had salavaged from the oldest house in the valley, so that they wouldn't be demolished when the house was:
You are scum. You took one of few things I had left, a couple of doors that not only DIDN'T belong to you, but were historically important to the valley. You took them from a family whose house burned down, who meant for those doors to be a part of their new life. This is a small town, and you probably KNOW the house burned down, which makes you extra fuck-facey for entering my property and stealing them. I wonder if you're the same piece of shit who also took my appliance dolly, shovel, tile lifter, sledge and pick hoe.
I lay this on you: you will never know a moment's peace while you have those doors. You will smell smoke and dying things every time you pass them.
Your initial thrill at stealing them, helping yourself, will spoil like milk, and you will wither. Those doors will remind you every time you look at them that you are trash, a bottom-feeder, a parasite, until you give them back.
A detective found found something of yours laying next to the caution sawhorse you ran over with your truck when you pulled up in front of my house. The same sawhorse you had to get out of your truck and yank out after driving around in circles in the street trying to dislodge it.
At 3 AM.
In front of witnesses.
I really look forward to hearing your undoubtedly idiotic explanation for why you HAD to have my doors when you go to the station to collect your cell phone.
You really are stupid.
EDIT: I want to add, so this is not totally hatin', that Boy was an awesome helper at Lowe's when we went to get a couple recessed light fixtures. He carried the cans around for me while I wibbled over eyeball v. coiled v. reflective.
More fun tomorrow. I just had to get that stuff about the doors out, because it really torqued me. I'm also noting, somewhere in the back of my head, that it hurts, it doesn't just make me mad, which is interesting.
Honestly, the rest of the day was pretty good. But, MAN, stealing just chaps my ass.
You are scum. You took one of few things I had left, a couple of doors that not only DIDN'T belong to you, but were historically important to the valley. You took them from a family whose house burned down, who meant for those doors to be a part of their new life. This is a small town, and you probably KNOW the house burned down, which makes you extra fuck-facey for entering my property and stealing them. I wonder if you're the same piece of shit who also took my appliance dolly, shovel, tile lifter, sledge and pick hoe.
I lay this on you: you will never know a moment's peace while you have those doors. You will smell smoke and dying things every time you pass them.
Your initial thrill at stealing them, helping yourself, will spoil like milk, and you will wither. Those doors will remind you every time you look at them that you are trash, a bottom-feeder, a parasite, until you give them back.
A detective found found something of yours laying next to the caution sawhorse you ran over with your truck when you pulled up in front of my house. The same sawhorse you had to get out of your truck and yank out after driving around in circles in the street trying to dislodge it.
At 3 AM.
In front of witnesses.
I really look forward to hearing your undoubtedly idiotic explanation for why you HAD to have my doors when you go to the station to collect your cell phone.
You really are stupid.
EDIT: I want to add, so this is not totally hatin', that Boy was an awesome helper at Lowe's when we went to get a couple recessed light fixtures. He carried the cans around for me while I wibbled over eyeball v. coiled v. reflective.
More fun tomorrow. I just had to get that stuff about the doors out, because it really torqued me. I'm also noting, somewhere in the back of my head, that it hurts, it doesn't just make me mad, which is interesting.
Honestly, the rest of the day was pretty good. But, MAN, stealing just chaps my ass.
