My Own Private Fuckdown Rodeo

Yesterday was the Day of the Klutz. I ran into things, dropped things, forgot things, did dumb things, and had things hit me in the face.

It'd take to long to write it out, so here's the highlight reel:

Object:
6' wide, 2" slat blinds set.
Incident:
I snapped a slat very near the top when the slat caught on the window I was closing.
Result:
Glad I broke the slat and not someone else.

Object:
6' wide, 2" slat blinds set.
Incident:
V. annoyed with the soon-to-be ex for saying the blinds could not be repaired, but would have to be replaced, when I said I was going to call the man that installed them. V. extra annoyed when soon-to-be ex. suggested the classy move of taping the broken pieces together. Retorted that I'd follow the taping with covering the windows with foil.
Result:
Determined to prove soon-to-be ex wrong.

Object:
6' long 3" wide snap on hard plastic decorative molding that is a common feature of the blinds in our house.
Incident:
Kited free from it's last clip as I was taking it down from blinds set and broadsided me just above my chin.
Result:
Busted gum a base of lower tooth, sore chin, physics lesson, new respect for momentum and gravity.

Object:
Corner of paper towel.
Incident:
Wielded by intending to be helpful daughter to dab at blood on gums. There was the exact opposite of dabbing.
Result:
Screaming and a run to the mirror to see if chunk of jawbone was missing.

Object:
Six long-lasting lipcolour packages, spring-loaded into slightly down-angled display.
Incident:
Launched from display at least provocation, like the corner of my bag brushing them. One even landed behind me.
Result:
Me imagining myself as one-woman cosmetics aisle wrecker with -5 dignity, -10 when I had to bend over to pick up fallen lipcolours..

Object:
Jack in the Box cup.
Incident:
Left at cosmetics counter.
Result:
Smiling, waving exit ruined.

Object:
6'-wide 2" slat blinds set.
Incident:
Did not stop to think that I only had to remove TWO slats to fix blinds: broken one, and spare from bottom. Removed about twenty before realizing error.
Result:
Lots of knowledge gained in how to return slats to blinds set.

Object:
The blinds again.
Incident:
Did not realize the vertical string weaves prettily in and out of horizontal strings.
Result:
Lots of knowledge gained in how to re-string blinds.

Object:
You know, the blinds.
Incident:
Disagreement with the near-future ex, about the difference between "You have to buy a whole new [set of blinds], they can't be repaired," (him) and "I fixed it! You thought it couldn't be fixed." (me)
Result:
WTF difference is there between "They can't be repaired" and "You thought they couldn't be repaired!"  I mean, aside from one of  us acting like Eeyore and one of us dancing around in glee.

Object:
My left pinky toe and unknown hard something or other. Remembered: desk leg.
Incident:
Can't remember when it happened, but Noticed pinky toe was sore after clipping it on something Desk leg, and carried on.
Result:
Woke up to impressive amount of dried blood on toe, all over bottom of foot, and a split hunk torn out of toenail. No wonder it hurt.

I can sure cram a lot into twenty-four hours.

ETA: Walk to vote for Obama. Toe really hurts now. Icing it.