ATF: Helpfulling and Derek Ruiz

I am planning on writing a something to help people HELP people who've had a fire (or other disaster that takes away their home and posessions and beloved pets or family).

Bur first:

Another comics pro has had their ass kicked by a fire. Derek Ruiz, Dabel Brothers Pro and Marvel employee, had a house fire at his Brooklyn apartment that he was living in with his girlfriend, mother (who was not home at the time), and sister, and lost everything, including a companion bird that he'd had for 12 years.

His PayPal addy is: ShinSenProd @ aol . com

I can tell you that even five or ten bucks helps. Also, I've gathered Derek has access to Target, so I'd reckon Target gift cards would be good, too.

Here's where Derek says to mail stuff:
Derek Ruiz
1230 Teller Ave Apt 6G
Bronx, NY 10456

Help Derek avoid any hassles and DON'T mark the payment as a "donation." PayPal watches carefully to ensure against charity fraud (as it should), and will ask for proof of charity. Call it a "gift," that will also help Derek with taxes.

Thanks, everyone. CHECK THOSE SMOKE ALARM BATTERIES and always be ready to JUST WALK OUT.


Here's a rough draft of the Help HELP list:

First thing: sometimes lucky doesn't FEEL lucky. Of course it's fortunate when someone survives a fire that takes everything they own. But when people or pets die in the same fire, the guilt at making it and not saving them is incredible. When they're left with little or nothing, the sense of loss of not just dear possessions, but everything little thing down to a cockscrew and a rolling pin, is overwhelming. Overwhelmed and guilty do not equal "I feel lucky."

Second thing: Don't give someone else something YOU wouldn't want. A disaster isn't an opportunity to avoid a trip to Goodwill or even the dump.
I have the four bags of useless (and some unwashed--ewewewew) kitchen crap to demonstrate my point. Stop and think before mailing heavy boxes of stuff: would the person getting them be better off with the five bucks? Sounds mercenary, but this is rebuilding; it's not a gift-giving occassion like a wedding where it's crass to insist on cash.*
Stop to consider the ability of the recipient to sort, store and USE what you send.
I got some AWESOME gift boxes, and I can say beyond a doubt they were filled with things the senders liked themselves. (*waves madly to kyburg, Tom Stillwell, her family, Larry Dixon, Dallas Lisa, spiderfarmer, Polymer Clay Centralers, Jeannie, Lisa, Barb Kesel, James Owen, and the people she's forgotten because she sucks with names*)
Imagine what you'd LOVE to get if you had nothing, and send THAT.

Third thing: GIFT CARDS. Even a gift card for just enough for a "luxury" like coffee. (I used one of the Starbucks cards sent to me to buy a coffee-to-go box for Austin's 24HCD event, and it felt so good to be able to share that.) Don't be afraid to send one marked "for shoes" or "for a treat." It's damn hard to remember to be good to yourself when all you're thinking about is getting through the day.
Third.5: Treats are always good. Small, daffy things. They are comforting.

Fourth thing: (and I have to say NO ONE from the comics, LJ, online communities said this to me, but one of Girl's teachers did) "I can imagine." You canNOT imagine. You either know because you've had a fire, flood or tornado (like the cast member at the Disney store), or you don't.

Fifth thing: Acknowledge the loss. Say you're sorry for it. Be ready for weird jokes, laughter, shock, tears. Be okay with whatever you get.

Sixth thing: if you're in a neighborhood where's there's been a fire, especially if you see the people cleaning up are struggling, ask how you can help, then do it. A fire's not a spectator sport. Pitch in, even if it's "only" a note expressing sympathy. Don't say, "anything," unless you MEAN anything.

Seventh thing: when possible, a good meal, either bought, made or delivered. Food is caring. It's home. It's comfort.




*This is not an invitation to discuss wedding etiquette, even though I think some couples are WISE to insist on cash if they know their guests have a penchant for the useless or re-gifting the tenth set of glasses. So says the wife who got the world's ugliest trivet, three relish sets, and 200 glasses in one day.

3-D "Nightmare"

I took the kids to see "The Nightmare Before Christmas" in 3-D.

Gosh, it's swell. I mean it. "Nightmare" is a fantastic piece of American art and animation, anyway, and the 3-D-ing of same didn't take anything away from it. It actually enchanced the charm of some scenes. There were few spots where it wasn't applied perfectly, but I was looking for them.
It was such a treat to see "Nightmare" theatre-sized for the first time. I missed it on its original run, which was ironic since it was being made not six miles in a straight line from where I lived in the San Fran Bay Area. This is a movie that should be re-released to theatres every year, so it can be enjoyed in the way it was made to be enjoyed. Don't get me wrong, it's fantastic on a TV, because it's that good, but so much is lost; details, obviously, but the scope of it, the size required to see everything and be enveloped in it.

Go see it before it's gone again, and take an enthusiast of whatever age with you. Then, assuming you haven't, watch the DVD with Henry Selick's commentary and be amazed at how cleverly simple the making of it was.